Road rules

Dear Minneapolis Drivers,

I know we mad the list as the most friendly big city to drive in, but still, we need some improvement. Please, for the love of god, stop ruining my good moods in the morning.

Do not drift into my lane.

If you want to get into my lane either turn on your signal and wait for me to brake to let you in or quickly shove your car in front of mine. Just don't drift slowly over so I have to hang back for a good mile because you are halfway over the line. I can't speed up because I have to wonder if at the moment I pass, will you suddenly decide to make your move? Just get some balls or stay in the freaking right lane.

University Avenue

It starts as TWO lanes then changes to three. Just because you know it's changing to three soon, doesn't mean you can just drive down the middle of the two lanes. If you're confused as to the change, notice those cute white dotted lines painted on the road. It's a fun thing we're trying to keep traffic in control.

Don't try to race me by turning up your ghetto music

Yes, my car is fabulous and race-worthy. No, your pounding bass and raised eyebrows do not make me want to waste gas by speeding ahead of you. Have you SEEN how much gas is these days? Back off.

Sidewalks are for pedestrians

OK this isn't really for drivers. But, last week I was driving downtown and there was a man walking slowly toward me in the middle of my lane. I didn't slow down right away in hopes that he'd freak out and jump to the curb at the thought of being flipped up on to my windsheld. But alas, he was fearless. I had to change lanes to avoid not a dead animal body, pile of glass or a slow truck but a sauntering pedestrian.