Like the old people

9 a.m. Mary Kate drops me off at Endoscopy Center. I sit in waiting room with the old people. One man goes on about how he drove a tank in Germany in WWII. I half listen and half read about makeup.

9:30 a.m. Male nurse takes me for an IV. Comments on how small/young I am. Accurately guesses my weight even though I lost seven pounds in 24 hours because of the fun preparations. Man can't find good enough vein my hand causing me to get so dizzy and faint that I have to lie with my head lowered.

9:45 a.m. Move to other room with loud machines, TV screens and scary tubes. Nurse explains everything. Doctor comes in along with a pre-med student who is going to observe. Damn teaching hospitals.

10ish a.m.: Start giving me narcotics and sedatives, half doses because I am small. Medicine burns my veins when it goes in. I feel like I chugged a beer fast but that's it. Doctor comments I am still wide awake so they give me more drugs.

Sometime later: More drugs because I am cringing and making "this hurts" noises. I can see my insides on the TV screen. It's just pink and frankly I am a little disappointed there isn't more to look at. Doctor said a lot of stuff but I have no memory of what. I am wondering why he would choose this as a profession but I can't get through the drugged fog to ask him.

Later: No memory.

Recovery room: Wake up there. Two nurses come in, both look at my chart and comment on how many drugs I had. Doctor comes in to tell me stuff that I can't remember because I was too drugged. I am sleeping and wake up when Mary Kate walks in. They give me cranberry apple juice. First real food/drink I've had in over 24 hours. I make the doctor come back to answer my questions.

Noon: I eat lasagne, bread and about 1,200 glasses of water. Then I sleep. A lot. Remember less of what I did before I took the nap.