Just a regular Monday...

"Want a punch in the head to keep you awake? If you do i don't have the energy anyway."

M: "Yes, Joe Mauer just stole second. And Hunter is up. This is good news."

Me: Seriously, They hate me for some unknown reason."
M: Probably the same reason everyone else hates you. Your beauty."

"He's so fucking stupid. Just quit."

"No one who still wears Abercrombie shirts is allowed to have children. That's the new law."

M: It's OK to rollerblade naked as long as you're hot.
S: Well, I have some love handles so I am probably out.
M; Oh god, shut up, you do not.
S: Have you seen me naked? no.
M: Um...Uh...No. Yeah, no. Got confused about the right answer there."

M: I want to hit something.
S: Like what?
M: A wall, or someone's face.