I love the doctor's office

Nurse: "You're having symptoms?"

Me: "I was in Mexico last week, and I've been getting sicker since I got back so I just wanted to see if I should come in yet."

Nurse: "Oh, so you think maybe you're having a reaction to a medicine?"

Me: "What? No."

A different kind of Thanksgiving

Train of thought

What I thought about today:

"Nope, not getting up."

"Ugh, how late could I call into work? 10, 10 sounds good. I'll email."

"Why am I always so tired?"

"Why do I never do laundry but still have clothes to wear? I should give some to poor kids."

"I could use my gift certificates to Express and Banana Republic and give MORE clothes to poor kids."

"I wonder why my boss is too tired to come to work but I have to drag my ass here."

"I had toast this morning, instant cappucino crap, this pizza Lean Cuisine is 400 calories...yeah, I don't care."

"Yes, I am still mad about that. I need a new job."

"I really don't like Indesign because you can't hold down the apple key and click and slide the page. I am sure there is a way to do it but I am too stubborn to find out. Bring back Quark!"

"Nov. 17 already? Really?"

"Do I want sushi tonight or Sunday? Rachel is making me pick the main dish for Saturday's dinner. I am going to marry a chef."

"If I live in NYC, could I have someone do my laundry. No, I'd be too poor. But, would I rather have clean laundry or cable?"

"When am I going to tell someone that the ethernet port on my new laptop is broken. Hmm, not today."

Yay, Dems!

As you all can see, mainly someone's brother, my Democrats are far superior to your gun-toting, gay-hatin' Repubs.

Why I love election season

- The Green party sign: Since late last week, there are people standing on the corner of my block with a massive cardboard sign that says "Support the Green Party." No candidate specifically just general support. Man, I hope they take the Senate!

- Live from New York... It's the Daily Show. Live! Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert!

- Minneapolis Mayor Rybak called my cell phone this weekend urging me to vote for..someone. Surely a Democrat. He talked to me like we were buddies though. I have expected him to end the convo with "peace out" but I hung up before he could get to that point.

- Campaign ads: This is the first time I have lived in a contentious state during election season. I can't get enough of the TV ads which inform me that every candidate running for office is a lying sack of shit and should be burning in the fires of hell. Vote, Tuesday!

- Predictions: I eat them up. I listened to NPR all day. Last night I watched two people fighting on MSNBC about whether the Dems would take five seats or four. They need six, so I have no idea why it even matters if they get less than that. My prediction? Dems will take every Senate seat up for grabs and there will be so much cutting and running Fox News will actually implode.

Funny baby

Rarely do I think children are funny, but OH MY GOD this is hilarious:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5P6UU6m3cqk

On turning 24

I'm OK with 24, but the fact my next birthday is 25 is not really OK with me because I think that's the first birthday where I will feel older. Last night I went to happy hour and bowling with friends. Interesting combination. My first score was a studly 129. A couple of beers and tequila shots later, my second game's score was 61. Whoops... I woke up at 2:15 a.m. laying halfway on my bed, fully clothed and paranoid that my car had been towed. So, I got up to change to pajamas, brush my teeth and check on my car which is parked in a bar (not the one I actually was at) parking lot behind my apartment.

This morning I had to force myself to go to work completely hungover and three hours later choke down flour-less chocolate cake with my co-workers. Just what an alcohol-damanged stomach needs - a crap ton of fudge.

In conclusion, 24 must not be the age where I become a responsible adult.

Ouch

My feet hurt.

Shoes

For my week long trip I had to pack a suitcase of clothes and a bag of shoes. I rarely even pack enough clothes so having to pack two bags is annoying to me. Usually I get to my destination and realize I cannot count how many days I will be gone and therefore pack for a weekend when I am staying a month.

This time though, due to the fact I will be walking miles around a hotel everyday, had to pack different shoes for everyday. Each pair gives me a blister in a different place. Walking in heels is warfare.

Dressing up is good for me, though. My patience meter for people ordering me around and talking to me like I am four is an unstable two when I am wearing jeans but jumps to an eight when I have on a suit. Oh the mysteries of life.

Lyrics of the week

After years of expensive education
A car full of books and anticipation
I'm an expert on Shakespeare and that's a hell of a lot
But the world don't need scholars as much as I thought
Maybe I'll go travelling for a year
Finding myself, or start a career
Could work the poor, though I'm hungry for fame
We all seem so different but we're just the same
Maybe I'll go to the gym, so I don't get fat
Aren't things more easy, with a tight six pack
Who knows the answers, who do you trust
I can't even seperate love from lust
Maybe I'll move back home and pay off my loans
Working nine to five, answering phones
But don't make me live for Friday nights
Drinking eight pints and getting in fights
Maybe I'll just fall in love
That could solve it all
Philosophers say that that's enough
There surely must be more
Love ain't the answer, nor is work
The truth elludes me so much it hurts
But I'm still having fun and I guess that's the key
I'm a twentysomething and I'll keep being me

Beach bum

Pictures from North Carolina:

This is the lake we went paddle boating on. Very pretty! Alligators too, but luckily they didn't eat me.


Yes, I am wearing a jacket, but the water was warm!

Someone's fault

I appreciate taxes that help other people. But damnit, I don't want to pay them.

Minnesota has all these crazy rules for auto insurance all of which is costing me about $300 more every six months than my Kansas car insurance. Unfortunately, my car insurance company found out that indeed I do not live in sunny Kansas but instead in traffic-crazed, icy road Minnesota.

I have to pay for underinsured and uninsured drivers, no-fault insurance plus everything else including the fact I live in a big city, don't take the bus and park outside on the street. Oh yeah, and I drive a "muscle" car and am young. They care only a little that I have never been in a car accident or gotten more than a parking ticket.

It's nice Minnesota is such a progressive state. I enjoy the prevalance of a third, sometimes fourth political party, the organic grocery stores and no tax on food or clothes. I, however, am not amused that I have to pay for idiots that don't bother to get insurance or decide to run me over with their cars. Also not amused by the fact I am being punished for not wanting to live in the suburbs and be surrounded by Olive Gardens and Kmarts.

Step one: Get rid of Mustang.

Step two: Move.

Southern relaxation

I'm in Wilmington, North Carolina aka Dawson's Creek central. I love this area of the country. So many trees, so green and so close to the ocean.

For the first time this week, I am headache and frantic free. Further proof that working a job is unhealthy, and I would be much happier just being a beach bum.

Plans for the weekend are to see sights from movies filmed here (it's called Hollywood East), eat lots of seafood, look longingly at the beach in the rain, shop, sleep in and enjoy a girls' weekend. And if I have to fly all the way to the South to get a weekend like this, I will.

Plus, if I say Louisville the right way here, they don't look at me funny. I originated as a Southern girl, after all.

At least I am not..

Dennis Hastert.

What's in a nickname?

Names I have been called by people I work "for:"

- Kiddo

- Buddy

- Girl

- Dear

And that was just this morning. Unfortunately I am not a 4-year-old. But man, I wish I was.

The Women of Philadelphia

I'm in line at Starbucks this morning, which is in the lobby of my hotel, and this man/woman is behind me talking about Jerry Lewis and doing a strip tease in the middle of the night because she was too hot in her hotel room. She has a voice that makes it completely unable to distinguish if she's man or woman.

I finally can turn around to look when I get up to order my mocha and she is wearing red plaid pajama pants, a black faded t-shirt, extremely damaged blond hair that goes past her shoulders and looks as if she has neglected to brush it for months, unisex glasses and a weird face. Add all this to the weird voice.

As I am waiting for my drink, Josh II (Josh is my Starbucks pal in Minneapolis, not his real name, or could be, who knows?) catches me staring at this woman as she deeply chatters away. He says "hey, how are you today?" with this big I-caught-you grin on his face. I start laughing and say "oh good..." He goes back to making his drinks with a huge grin on his face as well as a head shake and laugh occasionally with a glance at me.

Note: While all this is happening, I am definitely wearing polka dot flip flops, navy pajama pants that could probably pass for daytime pants, a K-State windbreaker, no makeup and unbrushed hair. It remains to be seen whether Josh II was thinking "that girl looks like she just rolled out of bed and came to the lobby for wireless internet, who is she to judge" or whether he thought I was cute and hillllarious.

Room with a view

Here's the view from my hotel room balcony. It's looking inside to the Cascades area which is just a very small section of the hotel. The large indoor area is in the Delta section of the hotel which has actual buildings inside the building. There is a food court area, "outdoor" Italian restaurant, a river with boat ride.

Perhaps I will take more pictures later if I stop being lazy.

Moving on up

Our case was accepted by the U.S. Court of Appeals. Oral arguments in November. Yay!

What happens when I get stressed

1. Lose my car. Not my keys, my car. Yesterday I had a meeting and had to park in this massive underground parking ramp. I knew I was on Level E. Yet, it took me a good 10 minutes to find where on Level E my car was.

2. I wake up wanting to vomit and continue this feeling til about 3 p.m. It's called, I probably I have Crohn's but no one will diagnose me with anything but "well..."

3. Write excessively in my planner including things like my flight numbers. Why would I ever need to know my flight numbers?

4. Start taking pills like my chemo pills, Tylenol PM or cocaine.

5. Talking myself out of going to the gym or sleep through my alarm that's waking me up to go to the gym.

6. Begin living in a pigsty, wearing clothes I hate because the ones that are OK are dirty and eating things that only come in plastic cups like pudding or jello because I don't want to do dishes.

7. Wear tennis shoes, jeans and sweatshirts. Note: Sweatshirts. Stupid Minnesota.

Why I would prefer to work with polar bears

1. Polar bears do not bitch, moan or complain even though I think they have plenty of reason to seeing as how they live in the Artic.

2. They understand the concept of tranferring to voicemail if someone is not at their desk. They do not take messages on paper mainly because their massive paws prevent them from writing so they are forced to just hit the transfer button.

3. Since they are unable to do anything but pace in circles (assuming they live in a zoo) or swim in ice cold water, they think you're a goddess for doing all that you do.

4. They could growl with me for necessary stress relief.

5. They could eat the construction men that are tearing up the parking lot five feet from my window, rattling the windows and floors causing nausea.