The GRE and other useless knowledge

I'm taking the GRE at the end of the summer. At least that was the plan before I found out that I am really stupid, and definitely NOT smarter than a fifth grader. Note: I would never actually watch that god forsaken show with Jeff Foxworthy.

So like a good student, something I never was past 10th grade, I buy the Kaplan books for GRE overall test and math workbook. I start with the vocabulary section because usually words triumph over numbers in my brain, and I want to ease into this. WRONG. I get to words like this: speulchral, novitiate and vituperate. The first word reminds me of scepetor, which reminds me of a king holding a long stick. Second word? Looks like novia in Spanish, which means girlfriend. Vituperate means nothing to me.

New plan: Make flashcards with five new words everyday that I will learn to use in sentences for the rest of my summer. After yesterday's cards, I can do this:

Sarah will never be an ERUDITE graduate student. The mean boy ADULTERATED the innocent girl. The GRE test is an ENIGMA to me.

I would write about the fact that I can't even freaking add fractions let alone know what to do with exponents but I have to make more flashcards.

Missing college

I am home this weekend and for the first time in two years, I miss college. Not everything just small things like feeling the same thing as 22,000 people whether it is the stress of finals or the excitement of a home football game. I miss the way a Mac mouse feels in my hand, scanning through newspaper pages looking for errors.

I miss the way my bare feet feel running down the hill of my driveway at night to get something from my car. I miss walking to my car at 1 a.m. when campus is empty but in the distance you can still hear people yelling or music playing.

I miss the crappy wood floors of the newsroom. I miss the purple fridge and the STD-infested leather couch. I miss looking at the clock, seeing it is 11:30 p.m. and thinking it was so early.

Then I miss some big things like knowing what I want to do for the rest of my life and not being jaded by the reality of how all those ideals are going to play out when the real world gets involved.

Being at home is just as unsettling as it is comfortable because I ache for the things I wish I had done, had another year to see how they would turn out or just that time in my life that is just a big memory.

Better than home

So iHomes are the coolest things about new hotels. Not only do I get to listen to my own music but my ever-so-hard-to-charge iPod Nano is being charged round the clock.

The most uncool thing about new hotels are Murphy beds. I walked into my "parlor room" and couldn't find my freaking bed only to discover it was hidden in the wood cabinet. It's small, but so am I so I won't complain. Plus I have a couch, full-size fridge, dining room table and flat screen TV. It all makes up for the random bed-in-wall trick.

Where I have been

What I've Been Doing
Working a lot. I wish I could say I did amazing and wonderful things while in the many fun cities I have been to in the last two months like Portland, New York City, Washington D.C. But it's all a blur of stress, frustration, wonder, indecision and more stress.

What I've Been Listening To
James Morrison's Undiscovered album, Josh Radin and Natalie Merchant

What I've Been Eating
I've had tomato soup and grilled cheese three times this week. Trader Joe's makes really good organic tomato soup. I buy the soup then add in pesticides and chemicals just to prove I am not a hippy.

What I've Been Thinking
I am currently entertaining the thought of curling up under my desk into a little ball until the world seems safe enough for me to be in it again.

What I've Been Reading
My Shape magazine although I think people judge me while I read it on the treadmill like "you really think you could have Kelly Ripa's body? Ha." I don't really think I can get a "perfect bikini body" by June 1. Let's be realists, people.

What I've Been Dreaming
I don't dream while in a Benadryl-induced sleep. The minute I start dreaming while taking Benadryl I will switch to meth.

What I've Been Watching
Twins games, Lewis Black standup on YouTube, West Wing Season One dvds.

What I've Been Predicting
One of these days spitting fire out of my mouth won't just be a threat, but will become a reality.

What I've Been Plugging
Exercise. I can't make myself go to the gym everyday but everyday that I do go, the world seems a lot less antagonistic toward me. If Minnesota weather cooperated a bit more I might be able to actually go everyday but snow is still in the forecast here.

I miss my mommy