I want that shirt.

Me: I just feel lucky when one person calls me on my birthday.

S: I'll call you.

Me: Psst. You'll be busy voting. And transporting elderly Democrats to the polls.

S: Why yes, everyone who gets in my car gets a party hat and t-shirt with your face on it that says "Celebrate with the better Sarah, vote against that Alaskan bitch."

And that is why we are friends.